Script start

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Script start

Postby sirmimer » Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:09 pm

"michael (VO)

Theres gone almost 5 years now... You know, and I've learned something. Its all a big lie, time don't heal a shit! I'm gonna live my hole life without my baby brother. My wounds never healed, they only got deeper. I just don't know how to describe how much it hurts, knowing that every single day, im gonna wake up without him. There is only one thing that keeps me alive, its knowing that someday, some beautiful day, when I'm done here, ill see hes face agian."

Hi, i was just wondering if this is a good start of a screen?

Also.. were can i finde some good tricks to screenplaying, like (VO) means voice over. And if i want a titel to come in after this, then its what?
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Re: Script start

Postby angelus77 » Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:46 am

In general, starting a screenplay with a voiceover just screams amateur. Sure, mainstream movies do it, but I'd suggest finding a way to convey the same information without using the VO.

How about seeing the character at home. Looking in on his little brother's empty room. Sitting by his grave. Maybe his parents wake up to find him gone in the middle of the night. After a frantic search, they find him curled up against the tombstone in the pouring rain. See how you can convey the same information with just images?

I would also suggest leaving out any mention of the opening titles. That will be decided by the director. Just do FADE IN: and go from there.

Feel free to email me if you have any more questions.

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